Random thing of the week:
THE VORTEX IS OPEN!!
THE VORTEX IS OPEN!!
FML Stuff:
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's pre-school teacher. Apparently, my son told his whole class that I was a murderer. All because I killed a bug. FML
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
Today, I went to watch a soccer game. As I went to go get a drink, a little girl followed me so I told her she should stay with her family. Suddenly, she grabbed my hand. Her mother turned round at that moment and screamed "GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD!" Dead silence and stares. FML
Today, I told my family I needed to see a therapist because I'm having trouble coping with a death of a friend. My step-dad then pulls a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and says "Here is your therapist and your new best friend". FML
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's pre-school teacher. Apparently, my son told his whole class that I was a murderer. All because I killed a bug. FML
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
Today, I went to watch a soccer game. As I went to go get a drink, a little girl followed me so I told her she should stay with her family. Suddenly, she grabbed my hand. Her mother turned round at that moment and screamed "GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD!" Dead silence and stares. FML
Today, I told my family I needed to see a therapist because I'm having trouble coping with a death of a friend. My step-dad then pulls a bottle of vodka out of the fridge and says "Here is your therapist and your new best friend". FML
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
And this one too :DD
Some cool people/videos on youtube :) Click name to go there :]
Ray William Johnson
ASDF Movie(also check out 2 and 3)
Ray William Johnson
ASDF Movie(also check out 2 and 3)
